Our Holidays so far

Alyssa sleeping, she was sick poor baby
My beautiful baby girl there is none like her.
She looks like an angel sent down from up above
She is so beautiful I can't believe how big she has gotten.

Moms nativity set
More of the nativity set
Have u ever seen such a beautiful baby? She is my pride and joy..... Can u tell?

For starters we had a great thanksgiving. We had my uncle Larry and his kids over from morley, then we had my other uncle pat here with his tribe and my aunt kim and her daughter and her hubby. Plus there were extras here too so man was our house crazy.
We got the tree up and my nieces loved it. They dint touch it was a good thing. My mom does a nativity decoration every year wich i love alot. So i took some pics of the tree and the nativity set. It takes her a while to do it but it is just precious when it is done. I got some pics of the girls recently. Hope you like them. Happy Holidays to ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Good News!!!!!!!

For the past few months I have been trying to lose weight. Me and my doctor made a guideline. She wanted me to lose it slowly so that way I can keep it off. She said if i try and workout alot more than normal i will lose the weight but then when my schedule calls for a different scenario I will gain it back and be right back were we started so we did things that will help me and keep it off. I did the thing i swore I would never do, I gave up my pop. I love pop. I went from drinking at least a 2 liter a day to having maybe 1 every week or so. Then I have been trying to eat smaller portions of food. It sucks when mom cooks so damn good but I am trying. So to date I have lost 17lbs. I am the smallest I have been since I started seeing this doctor. Over a year ago, so that is good. My next goal is to take a cheating way around me not eating breakfast. I can't seem to make myself eat in the morning so I bought some carnation instant breakfast. So I take 1 when i get up and I think that will help alot. Eventually when i get more money I might switch to 2 but for now it is good, slow and subtle. I have alot to go but I am excited none the less. The crazy part is I am losing it in different spots so you cant look at me and say oh i see where you lost it. I know in the last 10lbs I lost 4inches in my hip area. So I can tell by the way my clothes fit me but mom says she cant see it because she sees me everyday so to her I don't look different. So I just thought I would share this with you Thanks for the support. Love.....

The ranting continues

I know so many people right now who are suffering and I feel bad for complaining but I figure I might as well add in. I hate men, the one and only man I ever loved and believe was a true gentleman and someone I look up to was Jacob. He made ever other man I know including family look like crap. My dad is an ass, I wish he would grow up already and get over his crap. He swears he has changes since he and my mom split up and now to see him do the same damn thing again. It makes me angry cuz once again the ones who suffer is the children.

My news is I did not get the job at Judes but she really liked me so she is having a friend look at my app. I am going to look at a few other places. I just feel like all my air is being sucked out of me sometimes. I try to hold it all in but I swear one of these days I am going to blow and I can't see that being good for anyone. I have stuck to my water. I am proud of myself. I cant wait to see how well I am doing. Okay I suppose I have wasted enough time but, to everyone besides me with issues right now hang in there I have faith that the Lord is watching and he will not leave us in our time of need.

My Ranting

My self lately!
My baby
She loves pictures and wont stop posing so she goes from to the other to fast. LOL
Kenzie and her monkey face. She trys to copy auntie bb.





Wow I havent done one of these in a long time but maybe this time some one might actually read it. My girls are getting so big. Alyssa still acts like she hates me even though she has gotten closer to me she still likes pretending she dont like me. Kenzie of course loves me to death. Her new kick is finding spiders with me. She is every bit a tom boy as me but yet she loves to dress up with bb. We go on adventures through my back yard finding all the bugs and insects that we can. Eric and I had a fight so I havent been able to see them as much but he will get over it some day.

Carlos and I are really not together but yet we can't seem to stay completly away either. There is alot of drama there but I am trying to go by day by day. Who knows what the future holds.

This is it

Well I have decided to stop writing in my blog. I have been doing this since forever and the only one who really is faithful is Faith. Thanks by the way! I know there are people who come and check it out occasionally but they don't comment and what not so it is pointless. It sucks cause this way people could see the girls or my latest blurbs but I can't get anyone to come and check it out so I am calling it quits. I will keep in touch with the ones who are dearest to me. Love ya and thanks again Faith.

Heidi's Madness take 2

Wow I am sorry for not doing this in awhile I haven't really had much to put on here. So we are moving, originally I said the next time I moved it was going to be in my own place but I decided to stay a bit longer and go back to school to become an instructor. I like teaching and I love cosmetology so I think the 2 sound good. I am not sure if I will actually work as an instructor but it will teach me to correct mistakes and learn from a different point of view. I am excited I wanted to start on may 11th but with us moving and me being broke I don't have the application fees and what not right now so I am going to do the school thing in June. So wish me luck and what not. it has been almost a month since me and Carlos have been split so I have had alot on my plate and I am going to explode soon I can feel it. They say wont don't kill you only makes you stronger. LOL maybe but I am not sure still.

Easter and everything else!!!!!

Alyssa's goofy face
My silly self
Sara and Kenzie. Cute picture
Sara can you believe she will be 17 this year. I hate time.
Briana's always a cutie to bad the picture don't show her attitude.
Kenzie did not want to sit still.
My three girls, they are so precious.


Wow my Easter was great. I woke up and took a shower and what not, then I watched the tigers game. You know I love em. They were losing 0-4. Yeah but I kept thinking they just need to go to the bullpin and sure enough as soon as they did we took 6 runs in the bottom of the 8th and we won 6-4. Awesome game. Then we had mom cooking everything but the kitchen sink and that is why I am so big my mom can cook. We had my uncle and his kids here. It was nice because my aunt just passed away and this is the first Easter without there mother. So it was nice to have them here, and if that was not the icing on the cake my babies showed up and they were her long enough for eric to eat and me to take a few pics of the girls. So I hope the rest of you had a great Easter as well. There were other things that I couldn't possibly disclose right now but that is another day.

As for my new weight loss program. I have slipped a bit this last week because I knew Easter was coming but this week it is right back in it. I dont have a scale yet so I cant tell you how much I am down, but I have lost a couple inches in different parts of my body. So I am happy for that. Thank God for my site, they keep me going.

My Baby

It is no surprise to anyone that Kenzie and I are very close. I love Alyssa just the same but she has this weird sense of humor. She likes to act like she dont love me when she is here but if I turn the music on she comes a runnin. Or if I play her game long enough she will give in, but Kenzie loves me so much. Lately I have had her alot. For 1 she thinks she has to be here 24/7 and for 2 Jen needs a break every so often. I took these pictures of kenzie and I tell you if she isn't the cutest thing than I don't know who is.

Heidi's Madness

So this is my fat butt now I hope to
be able to show you a better picture some day.

So I have alot going on in my life right now. It is so weird how your stuck in your own issues you don't realize the people around you are in similar situations. My heart goes out to you. As for my madness I am pleased to tell you I am trying so hard to lose weight. I started the 17th. I dont have a damn scale so I cant report completely but I am trying hard. I have more than 250 fitness minutes in since the 17th. I found a wonderful program and I am so excited. My girlfriend and I have been walking an dI have been doing tae bo and regular excercise's. I am walking 2 miles three times a week. Anyways I am excited. I still can't manage to eat right. I have went so long eating just dinner that I can't force myself to eat breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks in between. Some day. Right now I just dont have the money to but all the stuff I need.

As for my job hunting it is horrible. I can't find anything available. I am turning that depression into my workout. If you know what I mean. It gives me a deeper consentration.

Oh and I went to get some movies the other day and I ran into my dad. It was nice. I havent seen him in so long. We talked for awhile. Even though sara stayed away dad at least got to see her. Hope to hear from everyone nobody ever comments on here anymore. Get with the program it don't take to long. Love ya!!!!!

My new goals

Well where do I begin. First of all I still haven't found a job. I have called and nobody is hiring. I am going to lower my standards and try again. I am disappointed but I figure the experience is going to be great no matter where I go.

I am also on this lose weight idea. I found this wonderful site where I can go and they are all trying to lose weight so we all give each other support. Some people on there have lost alot of weight and others have just begun. I am very excited. They have a nutrition plan and a fitness plan and other stuff. The track calories fo ryou and they have so much info and what not. Well I am going to try and put a 110%. Only problem right now is i need a scale. LOL! Well pray for me I need him to push me a bit. Love ya!